i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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