Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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