No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize