U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize