: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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