Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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