i would punch a child for taco bell
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
