I am puke
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
