I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
