Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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