My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
