I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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