Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
How external is "for external use only"?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
