We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
