dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
