he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
