You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize