At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
