we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
