do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
did i walk over a car last night?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
