it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
