Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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