SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
