You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
