When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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