shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
