Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
