Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
