y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
