They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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