ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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