Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
