The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm at about main and main street
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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