So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize