Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
