DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
