I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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