awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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