New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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