He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
