I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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