she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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