I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
