i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
