HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
