I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
