I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
