sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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