the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
