Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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