Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
ok first of all what the fuck
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
