The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
