Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Randomize