I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
