my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
