WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
