Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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