apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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