I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
