Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
