I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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