It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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