If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
