how can u be prego again
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
